“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love" - Brené Brown 

When coping with cancer-related stress, our minds may have many negative self-talk thoughts as we try to make sense of the cancer experience. Negative self-talk generally consists of one or more of the following:

• Assumptions. Our minds may draw on our past experiences and beliefs that have been carried over to the present — even if those past experiences and beliefs aren't universal or 100% relevant to the current situation. Sometimes, this type of negative self-talk is called "core beliefs” or assumptions. 

• Generalized and black-and-white thinking. Negative self-talk thoughts may sound like definitive conclusions made during a stressful time. It's helpful to be aware that these types of thoughts might not actually account for the full complexity of a situation, as our minds can restrict our thinking during intense moments. Knowing this helps us to work with our minds to expand our thoughts and consider the situation more fully.  

• Distorted thinking. Negative self-talk thoughts may focus on one outcome and not others or generalize one small detail into something that happens all the time.  Sometimes it helps to ask yourself a few questions to help you to understand if your thoughts could be tweaked to help you feel better.  

Good to know: It can be helpful to read the Thought Errors list adapted from Aaron Beck, Ph.D. It is a list of common “errors” we make with our mind. Our mind uses these “errors” to help us make a complex situation, or difficult emotion, simpler. However, the nuances get lost in simplicity.

Consider exploring the 7 Strategies for Adapting Your Thinking for some cancer-specific examples.

Exercise: minimizing negative self-talk

Write down one negative thought or belief you can remember from the last couple of days. Try re-writing the thought using the questions below. 

• What if a friend was saying this, what would I say to them? 

• Is there another way to see this, am I seeing all sides of it? 

• Does it fall into one of the cognitive “errors”?